A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, a golden rat interested him and he went to purchase it. "That'll be $20 for the rat and $1,000 for the story behind...

A blonde walked into a library and said to the librarian, "Can I have some fish and chips please?" The librarian gave her a funny look and said, " I'm sorry, this is a...

A Redneck goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam five hundred dollars. He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich." The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you...

An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, "Ya know, Ben, I used...

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Newfie walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. ...

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word...

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doctor, it...

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to...

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I...

A little boy is leaving school at the end of the day. As he strolls along the sidewalk, a car pulls up to the curb, and a man winds down the window. "Hey, kid, I've got candy in my car....

Yo mama's so dumb, she drowned during the wave at the football stadium.

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off...

Your momma is like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more. Your momma is like a vacuum, she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet...

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller...

It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

Yo' mama so poor, all she got you for Christmas was a video of other kids playin' with their toys!

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Johnny a three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was with him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell...