1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I...

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies:...

if my dog was as ugly as your momma, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards!

Q: What is the definition of a sick bird? A: Illegal

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in a red ferari speeding down a country road being chased by a squad car. They try to lose him by darting into a forest behind a farm. The trio...

All the little rascals sat down for class and the teacher decided to start off the day with a spelling quiz. The teacher first asked Darla, "Darla can you spell dumb?" ...

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The...

A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was...

After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in London and go out for a beer. The first sits down and says, "Hey, Señor, I would...

There was a little guy in a bar drinking his beer, when all of a sudden a big guy comes and knocks him off his stool and says "that was a karate chop from Japan" The little guy get's...

An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. "Where did you get such a great bike?", asked the first. The second...

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking it for a while. Suddenly, the woman...

So, this guy, Bill is sitting in a bar and pulls out this tiny little piano and a little guy about a foot tall. The little guy sits down and starts playing the piano quite beautifully. The...

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?" 'Yeah,' the man...

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, 'Children, I would like you to close...

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor...

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? don't answer him. - Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet's...

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.

Whats a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut? Shes trying to hold onto a thought.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith, the Sunday School teacher, smiling sweetly said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly an...