Two Cows are talking through a fence.One cow says to the other, "You know, I'm really worried about this Mad Cow Disease."The other cow says to him, "I wouldn't be too worried about it. It can't...

Why did the turkey cross the road?To prove that he wasn't chicken.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a...

After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front. He was on a very crowded train, and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and...

A pig went into McDonalds, got a Coke, went to the restroom and left. A second pig went into McDonalds, got two Cokes, went to the bathroom and left.A third pig went into McDonalds, got three...

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.4....

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.The teacher said, I'll bet these are...

Three racehorses standing around started arguing. The first said,"I've won 15 out of 20 of my races!" The second said,"Yeah, well I've won 29 out of 30 of my races!" The third said,"Yeah, well I've...

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?An animal that can milk itself!

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a big deep hole. "Wow, that looks deep." "Sure does! Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."They pick up a few pebbles and throw...

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and...

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm.The fisherman...

An old snake goes to see his coctor.He says, "Doctor, I need something for my eyes. I can't see well these days".The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2...

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says,"I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the...

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting, now there is the new Cat Miracle Diet!Most cats are long and lean (or tiny...

One day, a young camel decided to ask his father some questions about growing up. "Daddy, why is it that we have humps on our backs?" "Well son, we have humps on our backs which contain fat to...

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say,"Jesus is watching you!"...

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's...

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.The cat starts to...

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up.“But why do we have to hurry?â� said one.“Can you read, you nut! It says,...