Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Only two, but I don't know how they got in there!

A man walks into his local butcher's shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought, when I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only...

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at...

Person 1: Knock, KnockPerson 2: Who's there?Person 1: Cows go.Person 2: Cows go who?Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

How do you shoot a blue elephant?With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license.To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive.Dad immediately headed to the back...

Two teenagers were walking through a park when they saw two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious."What are they doing?" asked the girl."They're jumping rope," said the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you...

What's invisible and smells like carrots?Bunny farts!

Yo Mamas so dumb, she thought that the the International Dateline was a global dating service.

How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?You hang up a bingo sign!

The pet store was selling monkeys for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them....

Psychiatrist: "What's wrong with your brother?"Sister: "He thinks that he's a chicken,"Psychiatrist: "I see. And how long has he been acting like a chicken?"Sister: "Three years. We would have come...

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought a new mule.They were walking it down the street when the mule trips over a stone.The husband says, “That's one!â�They...

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as...

How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks?Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed dog?He ran... wouldn't you?

What is green and jumps from bed to bed?A prostitoad.

So this guy is in Rhode Island hunting for geese. He catches one and puts it in his bag with the other geese. Just as he closes the bag, a Hunting Inspector walks up."Sir, can I please see that...

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?A: Stick his bill up his ass.

What's worse than a giraffe with a stiff neck?An elephant with a stuffed nose.