One morning, during breakfast, I say, "I had the strangest dream. It was about aliens." My mother asks, "What are aliens?" My father asks, "What kind?" True...

Teacher: Joey, your behaviour is terrible! How many more times am I going to have to keep you in after school? Joey: 97. Teacher: 97? Joey: Yeah. That's how many days are left until the...

After class ends a 1st grader goes up to his teacher and says, "I don't mean to scare you Teacher but my parents said that if I keep getting bad grades, then..." "soomebodyy's...

A six year old boy walked into the bathroom and caught his dad putting on a rubber. The boy asked, "What are you doing dad?" The dad wanting to save more embarrassing questions replied,...

What is a Rednecks favorite saying? Hey guys watch this....................

Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Yo momma's so fat that a car hit her and she turned around and said "Hey! Who threw that rock!"

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

Men are like ..... Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like ... Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like ... Vacations ..... They...

Yo mama stinks so bad that when she puts on her 'Secret' deodorant it tells! ha ha :)

The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a handsome smile And keeps his car so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side He will be a good...

A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he's closer to the...

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When...

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have...

A golfer was having a round of golf with the local vicar. The golfer took his birdie put, but then a gust of wind blew the ball just wide of the hole. The golfer, being very bad tempered, then...

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and...

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover. The first woman says, "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy...

Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her...