A patient wakes up after having surgery to remove a gangrenous leg. Doctor: "I have good news and bad news." Patient: "What's the bad news?" Doctor: "The bad...

A drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for sometime at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and...

Bill pilled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, "My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!" "What makes you say that?" the bartender...

Yo momma is so fat when I put her on the family tree the branch broke.

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head...

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? Q: Please state the nature of your relationship to the minor child? A: I'm his mother. Q: And you have been so all of his life? ...

One day a blond from Cali decides to move take a trip to North Carolina to see her brunette friend. Of course, being a blond, she assumes that NC is like a whole different country. ...

Bill Clinton's limo is driving along a back country road on the way back to Washington from Camp David, when all of a sudden a pig jumps out in front of the limo. Bill, upset, tells the chauffeur...

A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Billy to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked... "Billy did you see the sky?" ...

When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "Uh, I...

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be...

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It...

Three little boys went into a candy store. " I want two cents worth of jelly beans," the first boy said to the clerk. The clerk frowned. The jelly beans were on the top self, and he...

A burglar had just broken into a house and was stealing anything he could get his hands on. Then he heard a voice, it said "Jesus is watching you." Thinking its in his head he continues...

One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that sad sad horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night". So he agrees, walks over to...

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you...

A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her. "I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman....

Your momma so fat she uses pillows for pantyliners Your momma so fat she got stuck in the Grand Canyon Your momma so fat when she walks by the ocean it waves and sings "We are...

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob....

Why did the rooster cross the road? The chicken was now at the poultry shop.