This young girl about 7 year old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school. Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn't walk the dog for a week...

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for...

Yo momma so fat, she made weight watchers go blind!

A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the country side. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest...

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was...

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe...

"Don't be afraid of the dog," said the lady to young Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. "You know the old proverb, 'A barking dog never bites?'" ...

How To Easily Clean A Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him...

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says...

A man walks into the bar and orders a round of beer for everyone. He even tells the bartender to pour himself one. So the bartender gives everyone the round and pours one for himself. He asks the...

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother said to her, "No."...

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him. "You, sir, are drunk!" "And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake...

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. ...

What do you call a pig who knows karate? A Pork-Chop!

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's...

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one! Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice...

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!"...

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction