A blonde walks into a hospital in a slight discomfort. "Can I have a hot towel to put on my nose please?" The nurse was curious and asked, "Why would you like a hot towel...

A man is flying on a very expensive airline in first class when the sudden urge to relieve himself overwhelms him. He runs to the bathroom to find its occupied. He bangs and bangs on the door but...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better...

You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers!"

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, ''If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'' With even greater emphasis he...

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school to talk about the world. After hertalk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is. ...

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell...

Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters? His daughters all died digging the grave.

Yo mama's vagina's so wide, Now you have three dads!!!

A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse's visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in ...

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. ...

Timmy had been having a hard time in math class and got an 'F' on almost all of his report cards. His mom thought he'd be better off if he went to a private Catholic school. The very first day of...

Yo mama so old that when I told her to act her age, she died!

Yo mama's so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, people head for higher ground.

This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail...

Q: What do the men in a singles bar have in common?A: They're all married.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.The barman asks "What'll it be?"The man says,"I'll have half a bitter, and one for the road."

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so...

A man walks into a bar and says,"Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to...

A man, a cat, and an ostrich walk into a bar. They sit down and the man offers to buy a round of beer."Sure," says the cat,"That'd be nice but you know I'm not buying you one in return.""Fine,"...