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Archive: 200504 Page 21 of 34
Mar 19, 3324
FAMOUS DRINKING QUOTES
145 hits
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.Ernest Hemmingway Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me....
Apr 23, 2005
DANCING DUCK
141 hits
A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under the other. The man walks up to the bar and asks the bar tender"if you give me a free bottle of beer I'll show you my dancing...
Apr 16, 2005
Big John
134 hits
A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender.The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place.He tells the timid man,"If you ever...
Apr
4, 2005
BIG 10 INCH
138 hits
Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one."I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and...
Apr 12, 2005
BEERS FOR GEEKS
100 hits
DOS Beer:Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz can, but now comes in a 16-oz can....
Apr
8, 2005
BAD DAY
135 hits
A guy is at the bar, just staring at his drink, when a big truck driver steps up next to him, takes the guy's drink, and gulps it down. The guy starts crying. The truck driver says,"Come on, man, I...
Mar 19, 434
ALCOHOL IMPROVES BRAIN
116 hits
The following is an actual excerpt from this month's Forbe's Magazine: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest...
Apr 30, 2005
AIRPLANE MECHANICS
187 hits
A couple of airplane mechanics are kicked out of the local bar and, with no place else to go, end up in the hangar at LAX. One of them says to the other,"Man, have you got anything to drink?" "Nah,...
Mar 19, 461
A STUNT DRIVER
162 hits
The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped...
Apr 19, 2005
A snake slithers
125 hits
A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says,"I'm sorry but I can't serve you.""Why not?" asks the snake.The bartender says,"Because you can't hold your liquor..."
Mar 19, 1398
A pawnshop and see
125 hits
A man is in a pawnshop and sees this beautiful Grandfather Clock and winds up buying it. He asks the owner if he can deliver the clock and the owner replies that he cannot make deliveries. So only...
Apr 12, 2005
A mushroom into a bar
118 hits
A mushroom walks into a bar.He sits next to a beautiful woman and tries to pick her up.He gives her a few cheap lines,and she replies"Get out of here, I don't want nothing to do with you!"Then the...
Apr 17, 2005
A guy sticks
123 hits
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours."The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy...
Apr 19, 2005
A fag into a bar
157 hits
A fag walks into a straight bar.The bartender says,"Get out of here, I don't serve fags!"The fag asks,"Is it alright if I just sit in the corner?"The bartender accepts, and the fag sits in the...
Apr
5, 2005
A double whiskey
102 hits
A guy comes in to a bar and orders a double whiskey. He drinks it and looks in his pocket. Then he orders another one, drinks it and looks in his pocket again.This is repeated a dozen times...
Mar 19, 7244
A circus owner
139 hits
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed...
Mar 19, 2582
A chunk of asphalt
131 hits
A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm and says,“I’d like a beer please, and one for the road.â�
Mar 19, 3469
A chicken in bar
140 hits
A chicken walks into a bar.The bartender says, "We don't serve poultry!"The chicken says, "That's OK, I just want a drink."
Apr 21, 2005
Wishes
132 hits
God created the donkey & said to him : " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50...
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