How do you catch a polar bear?You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

Why is a reindeer like a gossip?Because they are both tail bearers!

What do you call lice on a bald man's head?Homeless.

Knock KnockWho's there?Roxanne Roxanne who? Roxanne corals sure do make this aquarium pretty.

What does a cat like to eat on a hot summer's day?A mice cream cone!

How do you kill a pink elephant?Tie a knot in its trunk,wait till it turns purpleand then shoot it with the purple elephant gun.

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?A leap year!

One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, ''Jesus is watching you!'' while he rumagged through the desk.He replied, ''Who said that?!'' Once again he heard the same thing, ''Jesus...

An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison -- for shooting himself in the privates.In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants.The gun...

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens.""Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me...

Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch?He found out it was a 'rough toad to hoe.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?Wouldn't you if your name was 'Aarghunghnah?

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?A: A six-foot toothbrush.

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex.The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?â� The father says,...

What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?An inside out elephant.

What is grey and not there?No elephants.

A biology class student conducted an experiment on what would happen to a grasshopper if its legs were taken off.He pulled off one of its legs and yelled 'hop!', and the grasshhoper hopped. Then he...

A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager?" he said, flashing some large bills around. "I've got $500.00 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer...

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying...