Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?A. "Rough rough".

Dear God,Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?Dear God,When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?Dear God,Why are there cars...

“Doctor, doctor!â� said the panic-stricken woman, “my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he’s swallowed a mouse! What shall I...

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the store picking out a large box of laundry detergent.The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to...

How did the dead Monkey cross the road?He was stapled to the chicken.

A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting.This was Joe's first time ever hunting, so he was following Bob's lead.Bob saw a small herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and...

A woman's dishwasher had stopped working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day,she told him"I'll leave...

What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?Dam!

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosuar with a pig?A: Jurassic pork!

Q: Where do cows go on Fridays?A: To the Moooovies

If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor,what should he pick.On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow.On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a...

A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs up and sits next to him."Whatcha doin' here?" asks the squirrel."I'm here to eat some apples.""But this is a pine tree!""I know. I brought my own...

During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime.When they...

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present.So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot.The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. "It's beautiful!" cried...

Why did the chicken cross the road?Pat Buchanan answers this question:"To steal a job from a decent , hard-working American." Dr. Seuss answers this question:"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he...

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week.When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up.The brother hesitated, then said,''I'm so...

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and...

Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?Far from being a proverbial chicken,this deeply disturbed fowl suffered from chronic depression and social anxiety disorder, usually treated with a...

Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu?A. You get Bullshit.