A blond lady was taking a shower one morning and when she was done washing her hair she took the washcloth and washed herself. when she was done, she stepped to the left brought back her arm and...

There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake...

I went into your house, took a booger of the wall and yo mamma told me not to touch the family portrait.

A city slicker decided to buy himself a pig, so he drove to the country until he saw a sign that said "PIGS FOR SALE". Turning into the driveway, he spotted the farmer, told him what...

PATIENT: "Doctor can you help me? It's my hearing. I can't even hear myself cough." DOCTOR: "Okay, have this prescription filled." PATIENT: "Oh, will it...

It was Superbowl Sunday for the animals, and the Elephants were playing the Cows. The whole first half of the game, the Elephants got their butts whipped. The cows were winning by a mile. By...

Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to...

A mother and a her daughter go to a restaurant for breakfast to celebrate her birthday. The restaurant is known for its imported cheeses. The mother asks, "Would you like some cheese, my...

Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are...

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? A headbanger.

A blonde and her friend were tracing their names from stencils to cut out. When they ran out of room, the blonde turned the paper over and said,"Hey, there's lots more room on this side!"

Yo Mama so stupid she didin,t know she was yo mama. Yo Mam so stupid she sits on the T.V. and watches the couch. Part2 Yo Mama so fat when she jumped on the trampoliene she made...

Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you? Lawyer: Were you alone or by yourself? Lawyer: Were you...

God created woman first, but he also gave her three boobs. He said, "I'll talk to you in a week, and let me know how the three boobs thing works out when I come back." So a week...

There were 3 girls and a genie on a mountain.There was a redhead, a brunette and a blond. The only one who knew how to get off the mountain was the genie, but she offered the girls a wish to turn...

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blonde...

From a San Diego Father who has identified 35 truths he learned from his children: There is no such thing as childproofing your house. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over...

What kind of flashlight do blond's use? The solar powered kind!

A young couple decide to have sex for the first time so they go to the store to buy condoms. They find a popular brand and bring it to the register. The price on the box is $1.00 but when the...

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours...