One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack. When he asked, the man said, ''I got me...

What do you call 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth!

There are 3 well known rings to marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering

4 Catholic women are sitting in a cafe sipping their tea talking about their great sons. Soon it begins as a contest to see who has the best son. The first woman proudly declares, "My son is...

"What possible reason can you have for acquitting this defendant?" the judge shouted at the jury. "Insanity, Your Honour," replied the foreman. "All TWELVE of...

Two Vampire bats are in a cave, both very hungry. The first bat goes out looking for some food. He comes back later with nothing. The second bat tries not long afterwords. 5 minutes later he...

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she...

A smart blonde (no thats not the joke) goes into a bank in New York and asks if she can take out a loan of $1 000. The banker not trusting the woman asks her for collateral. The woman decides...

Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how you cook food stamps.

A bear goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry we dont serve bears here." The bear, upset, says angrily, "Gimme a beer or I'll eat that lady over...

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The...

During the Irish Potato famine, a young Irish-Catholic woman was worried about the poverty of her family. She told her parents that she was going to America to seek her fortune. With many tears,...

A schoolteacher wanted to show her students how dangerous drinking alcohol could be. She brought a jar of alcohol and an earthworm to class one day to demonstrate its effects. She dropped the worm...

Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the...

1)the couch is not mine 2)No matter how much larger the human is the cat still deserves half of the bed 3)Tell those you love how much you love them but only after they feed you 4)Its okay to...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I...

A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a...

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

Why did the chicken go across the field? Because the referee shouted "FOWL"!

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? to see if their maxi-pads had wings!