While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was approached by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a policeman?""Yes," I...

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.

Q: What did Michael Jackson yell when he fell off the boat?A: Throw me the bouy!!

If you see three flies in the bathroom, how do you know which one is the deadhead?The one on the pot.

 If Diana's heart was in the right place...why was it found in the glove box?

Did you know that Dodi organized the accident?He thought his father said, "Bury the whore!" instead of, "Marry the bore!".

Q: What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex?A: "Shit happens!"

Q: What's sex like for Michael?A: Child's Play.

What's the difference between the a Royal Mail strike and Diana?A Royal mail strike stops the post ... and a post stops Diana.

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

What's the Queens favourite car? A smashed up Princess

Q: Who was the unmanned recon airplane the Predator named for?A: Michael Jackson.

Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!

Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: "If you hold their heads underwater long enough."

Why do the Papparazi go around sticking cameras in peoples faces and taking photos?Because their dicks don't work

Q. What was JFK Jr. drinking at the time of the crash?A. Ocean Spray.

What is Diana's new title?Princess of Walls

How did Di and Charles disagree about Modern Architecture?Di was wrapt about pre-stressed cement.

What is Di´s new job?Model at Versace´s

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Miss Bobbit have in common?A: They both played with little wieners.