Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.One: "Whew, it's windy today!"Two: "No. Today's Thursday!"Three: "So am I! Let's go to a bar!

There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman who had been friends from childhood. The reason: They all had a terrible stutter and always felt a lot more at ease in each other's company...

A deer goes out for her usual afternoon walk. About an hour later, she realizes that she is lost out in the open. Unskilled in the ways of the real world, she asks a cheetah,"Excuse me sir, do...

The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this...

One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just got bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn't have a big house like Bob use to have...

A blonde one day goes to her regular plastic surgion. He says to her what can i do for you i have done everything that is can be redone i even did your ears. She replies well this is kind of...

Yo Momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "Okay!"

Teacher: You should have been here at nine o' clock! Girl: Why? Did something happen?

These are all from my experiences. Thats why their funny. 1. You build a miniature boat out of a hostess box, water bottles, and duct tape, and float it down a river seven times. 2. You...

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day...

1. Your mother tells you "if you're not in bed by 12, come home." 2. Your idea of safe sex is locking the car door. 3. You open your car door to turn on your bedroom light. 4. You...

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the ? ? ?," he said to himself as a little blue "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. ...

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to get the mail it measures on the richter scale.

A guy is walking down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is...

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.

Two guys were at the gym. Bob ask Ben' how did the date go with my Sister"? Bob, " I didn't know your sister was famous. When I took her to the opera, and it was over noone would leave...

OK, let's consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million...

Artery: Study of paintings Bacteria: Backdoor to cafeteria Barium: What to do when treatment fails Bowel: Letter like A E I O or U Ceasarean Section: District in Rome Cat Scan:...

A man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing.He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears ...

yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck