A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause...

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up...

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are quite excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go...

3 guys go into a bar. They drink heavily and they lose each other in the bar. Next morning they're all at work discussing what went on after they lost one other. The first guy says, "Man I...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep...

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the...

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the...

Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week...

On Halloween, a taxi-driver saw a nun standing at the side of the road. He pulled over, and asked if he could help her. The nun said she needed to get to the mission. The taxi-driver said...

A women went to a wishing well and wished that she could become a better driver. So she turned into a man.

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: ...

A man and a woman are having an intimate dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the man quietly slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The...

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot...

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized...

This married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the...

Attending the funeral of an actress who had been married ten times, a friend sobbed to the priest, "Well, at least they're together at last." The clergyman looked around. "Which of...

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive...

Do you know what a bad time is? It's finding thirty-seven rats in your salad, and then getting gas from them.

Three ministers were talking about their common problem with bats in the belfry of the church. The first minister said, "I shot at them with a shotgun, but it only spoiled the...