A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want...

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer....

In order to be a guy, a guy must follow the following rules at all times without question: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow...

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn't have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!

How was copperwire invented? Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.

A local psychic hotline opened up a new number especially for frogs, called "The Psychic Frog-line." A frog called, wanting to know his future. "You will meet a beautiful...

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she...

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations. 3. You have ever had to wash...

Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot...

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate...

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with...

A doctor came to a sanitarium to check up on the patients. He sees that everybody is walking around with an empty leash. So he asks a few patients what they are doing. They all answered that...

Why can't you trust a blonde to call for an ambulance? She can't find the 11 to call 911.

What do you call a blind deer? No idea. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea!

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"!

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law...

A man was about to marry his girlfriend for the past year. There was only one thing bothering him - his mother-in-law to be - she was beautiful and sexy and sometimes flirted with him and made him...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind...

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask,...