Q: What does a fish use to get high? A: Seaweed!

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of...

A brunette, blonde and a redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the backroom and if you stand in front of it and say something you think thats true you'll...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then...

Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, At home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our...

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow -- even during a hurricane! -- here is a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The...

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob...

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her. "Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most...

There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the...

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the...

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders...

Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed one of his client's jurors to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, fearing the murder charge being brought by the state. The jury was out for days before...

Viagra now available in liquid form. FDA officials today announced the release of the wonder drug Viagra in a new, easy-to-take liquid form. It is sold under the name "Mydixadrill." ...

Yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm. This drug sounds so promising...

A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor. Doctor: What was your dream about? Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire! Doctor: (giggles quitely) So......

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she...

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds. The...

There are three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns...

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his...