Q. Why did the skeleton run up the tree?A. Because a dog was after his bones!

This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''''Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a...

How do you kill a blue elephant?With a blue elephant gun.How do you kill a pink elephant?Hold its trunk until it goes blue and the shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Q: Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?A: He liked a good croak and dagger.

A man that lives on a farm wakes up and goes outside to find a man screwing one of his sheep and a little boy watching.He walks up to the boy and says ''Who's that screwing my sheep?'' The boy...

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach.There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, ''Dad, what happened to the birdie?''His dad told him, ''Son, the bird...

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?It heard that the referee was blowing fouls.

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as it was crossing the road?A: "Yahoo!"

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?A: A ravin lunatic.

Why does a Rabbit have a shiny nose?Because its powder puff is on the other end.

Q: What do porcupines say after they kiss?A: Ouch.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?'Cause he was dead!

Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?"The bartender points to the door and they rush in.Two more piggies walk into a bar.They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's...

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm.He would get turned on by...

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig.When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig.The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down.He then...

What did the little birdie say when he flew over Pic & Sav?Cheap, cheap, cheap.

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"The...

A penguin walks into a bar and says to to the barman "Have you seen my brother?" ...and the barman replies "No, what does he look like?" 

A panda walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please." The barman took his order and the Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter...

What did Osama name his last daughter?Camela - after her mother.