During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the small animals.The big animals were crushing small animals and at half-time, the coach made a...

What do you call a Fly without wings?A walk.

Do you know why flies have wings?So they can beat the hicks to the watermelon.

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea?A: Shall we walk or take a dog?

If a flea and a fly pass each other, what time is it?Fly past flea.

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very poor parish and he needed money.He bought a horse to enter in a local race, but the horse turned out to be a donkey. Still, Father Murphy took it as...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end.After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind...

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals.He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch.He searchs for someone who could...

Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?A: A sheep.

How can you tell the difference between an elephant and a grape?A grape is purple.

Why did the elephant go to the dentist?He had a terrible tuskache!

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDYA repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida.The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts,...

How do you make a Duck into a popstar?Put it into the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

One day a duck went into a hardware store and asked the owner for some duck food.The owner looked at him funny, and said, "This is a hardware store and we don’t carry duck...

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for...

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of movie, you know the type.In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out,...

What kind of fish does a dog catch?Catfish.

DAY 70 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope...

Police warn all clubbers, party goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a new date rape drug on the market called...

If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have?A bloody big cricket.