Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don't work.

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need...

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman and the other is a chocolate lab!

Why don't chickens wear underwear?Because their peckers are on their faces!

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?It wanted to lay it on the line.

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from ''Feathers,'' the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story:It seems the US Federal...

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?A: A giraffe eating cherries.

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms."Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw...

* Cats rule. Dogs drool.* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash...

How do you make a cat go woof?Cover it in petrol and set it alight.

How do you talk to a fish?You drop him a line.

How did the bee hurt his back?He fell off his honey!

Once upon a time, allegedly, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping...

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots???A: Bunny farts!

What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?It's ass.

What do dogs and women have in common?They both like 12-inch bones.

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, bursting into tears.Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was...

Birdie, birdie in the skyDropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big girl I won't cry,I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?He marks the camels that kick.

Q: Where does a bee pee?A: At the BP station.