There is this bear, right, and he walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "Can I have a large Gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tonic Please?"The...

What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?Beer

You might be a redneck if ''Bambi'' made you hungry for rabbit!

David received a parrot for his birthday.This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.Every other word was an expletive.Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least,...

What's as big as an elephant, but doesn't weigh anything?His shadow.

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. 2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take...

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said,''Can I rent a donkey?'The guy said,"We don't call them...

What's the national bird of Afghanistan?DUCK!!!

A woodpecker was pecking a whole in a tree.All of a sudden, a flash of lightening struck the tree to the ground!The woodpecker looked bemused for a moment and then said: "Gee, I guess I don't know...

A snail got mugged by two tortoises.When he went to the police, they questioned him as to what happened.He said, "I don't know, it all happened so quickly."The more people I meet, the more I like...

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal.After eating he pulls out a gun, shoots the place to the ground, and runs away.Quickly the bartender runs after him yelling, "HEY YOU CAN'T DO...

A man enters his local bar holding a frog and and iguana.He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of.""Ok," says...

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."The guy replies "Yeah I know. It's driving me nuts!"

A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, "Take that penguin to the zoo, now."Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.The policeman stops the guy...

A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."The frog is thrilled,...

Before - You take my breath away After - I feel like I'm suffocating Before - Twice a night After - Twice a month Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation...

A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her co-workers has a thermos. She asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, ''It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold'' The...

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on...

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?"...