1. We can get laid anytime we want.2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.3. We piss sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk.4. We get out of speeding...

1. But everybody looks funny naked!2. You woke me up for that?3. Did I mention the video camera?4. Do you smell something burning?5. (In the back seat of a car) And they say romance is dead...6....

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam! They hit the wall. The next day in the hospital the first man...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp."Wow", says the bartender,"Something bad must have happened.""Yeah it did," he...

A man was explaining to a friend how he managed to get home the previous night." I was doing just fine until I turned into my driveway", he said."And then what happened?""Someone stepped on my hands!"

Our lager,Which art in barrels, Hallowed be Thy drink, Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as I am in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we...

There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink.He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just...

Yo Mama so big,fat,and clumsey,when she tried to get to Wal-Mart,she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target

Yo mama's like Humpty Dumpty.... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped!

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's...

Yo momma is so dumb, she tried to fix breaking news!

A blond is in math class. The teacher says "We are going to be learning about pi (3.14) today. Does anyone know what that is?". The blond says "I do. I made a cherry one this...

Yo Mama So Stupid... she stole Free Loafs from the Bakers. I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder... she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner...

Once in a medieval times...there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest "weapon". The...

1.Your tires cost more than your car. 2.You have hanging a motor out of your tree. 3..Your trailer house tires work but your car tires don't. 5.You write the girl of your dreams name on the...

You know you are addicted to coffee if ... You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only time you're...

Yo mama so fat, she coughed next to a corn field and made popcorn.

Did you know in 1923, the following men were considered some of the world's most successful men . . . at least they found the secret of making money. Whereas, in 1987, more than 60 yrs. later, do...

Yo Momma so stupid, she tried to cut through a safe with a Laser Tag gun!

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she...