A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can...

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a...

There was a young girl who had just gotton engaged to a very Catholic young man, and she was very happy. The only problem was her husband thought that she was a virgin, and she wasn't. She was...

What do you call a man who put the toilet seat down after use? Don't know it's never happened.

For all you Blonde ladies out there. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them

Your momma is so ugly when she walks through the woods during hunting season she wears a sign saying "DONT SHOOT! FROM THE FRONT I LOOK ALMOST HUMAN!"

Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"

-Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. -Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. -Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. -Bad girls only own one bra...

A trucker has just turned a corner on a deserted roadway and was proceeding to change lanes when a blonde in a speedy corvette cut right in front of him almost making him get run off the road....

A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The...

A blonde was recently fired from her cashier job, because she kept stealing money from the register. She went looking for work the next day. A few days later, she came to a man who needed...

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.) Q: Name the four seasons....

Little Johnny was sitting outside a church playing with sulphuric acid. The priest came up to him and said "Child why are you playing with sulphuric acid? Thats dangerous! I've got some...

what type of pets drive? carPETS

A doctor goes into a sanitarium one day to check up on the patients. He sees they are all lined up with bathing suits on, jumping into the air and landing hard on the floor. He asks them what...

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you...

A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one...

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor...

The National Poetry Contest had come down to the last two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a...

yo momma so fat she uses a dump truck as a toilet!