What did the father say to his blonde daughter? "If your not in bed by 11.............come home."

Two doctors meet at a convention and go back to the male doctors house. After a while they end up having sex. When they are done the male doctor says, "Wow, you must be a...

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder.The bartender turns, looks at him and says,''Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!''

A guy walks into a bar without a dime to his name, convinced that he can persuade the bartender to buy him a drink. He tells the bartender that he is flat broke but if the bartender buys him a...

A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head.The barman looks over and says"You're not going to start anything in here, mate!"

A duck went into a bar and asked for some crackers. The waiter said no. The next day he came into the bar and asked for crackers again. The waiter said no, again. The next day he came in again and...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual."Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says...

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and...

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink.The bartender says,"No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it.""You're right," the guy says."I don't have any money, but if I show you...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman"Give me six double vodkas." The barman says"Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.""Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."The...

A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink. He then notices a jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in...

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self-conscious...

A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk.Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name."Carmen," she replied."That's a nice name," he said warming up the...

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''The bear replies,''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'The grasshopper looks surprised and says,'You have a drink named Steve?'

Due to increasing products liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning label be placed immediately on all...

A policeman finds someone crawling on all fours in the middle of the street.The cop approaches him and asks him, "What on earth do you think you’re doing?" The man on the floor...

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.â�“How about that!â� he exclaimed....

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?"The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the...

Q: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?A: Because if it had four it would be a sedan!