Why was Diana in a Merc? Because she flatly refused to get in any other car.

Why did Diana divorce Charles?She finally relized a ruler wasnt 12 inches long

What was the last thing Diana & Dodi had to drink?4 Harvey Wallbangers, 2 Slammers, followed by 7 chasers and a Pina Colida

What did Paparazzi say before chasing Princess Di on a motorcycle?I'd kill for a picture, and he did.And after the crash: Hey! This is better than the OJ case. Could you bleed a little more? I need...

Why was Lady Di's death a tragedy?Because the rest of the Royal Family wasn't in the back of the car with her.

Did you hear that three paparazzi died in a tunnel the other day?They were being chased by Danii Minogue.

Q. What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?A. One has two boobs, the others *are* two boobs.

What was Diana wearing the night of her crash?Crushed velvet.

Why was Princess Diana so thin?Crash diet.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?A. Charley Weaver: "My sense of decency."

What's the bumper sticker on Fergie's car?I brake for Paparazzi.

Q: Where is Michael Jackson's other glove?A: In Brooke Shields' pants.

Q: What's Michael's favorite fast food?A: Big Boys.

Q: What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from?A: Anal retention.

Q. What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?A. A microwave stops when you open the door.

What has 500 legs and 62 teeth?The front row at Princess Diana's funeral.

Q: What's "black-white" and purple?A: Michael Jackson's dick after a slumber party with a bunch of 6 year olds.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on...

What does XXX stand for in a porno film?It's the signature of the three blondes who act in it.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?To show the blonde how!