What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?Porcupines have pricks on the outside...

Q: Why do dogs make such poor gamblers?A: When they get a good hand at poker, they wag their tails.

What's a polygon?A dead parrot.

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver, who works for the zoo, pleads with the bus driver to do him a favor.He...

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping.He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car,...

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.A policeman sees the panda and tells him he...

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.The taxi arrives, and they open...

One caterpillar to another, as they watch a butterfly:"You'll never get me up in one of those things."

What do you call a dog with no legs?Nothing...it's not going to come to you anyway!

A man was walking down the street and saw an Eskimo looking at his car tire. So the man said, “You blow a seal?â�And the Eskimo responded “No. That''s just...

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man says, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."Bartender: "Yeah! Sure…go ahead."Man asks the dog, "What covers a house?" Dog...

Mrs. Andrews named her cat Love because it was so affectionate.One day, when Love failed to return home, Mrs. Andrews went out to look for her lost cat. Since she was wearing nothing but a...

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''''Yep,'' the little boy...

What goes moof?A cow with buck teeth.

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer.So the teacher asks Bobby, “What is this animal called?â�“I...

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the...

Why do Mice have small balls?Because not many of them can dance.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

What happened to the blind skunk?He fell in love with a fart.

Why do elephants have long trunks?Because sheep don't have strings.