Why did the chewing gum cross the road?Because he was stuck to the chicken's bottom

Did you hear about the frog who went to the library to get some reading material?As the librarian on duty suggested a list of titles, the frog was heard replying, "Read it…read...

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this bulletin..."Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising...

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very horny, and difficult to handle.Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the...

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to take a trip, so he left his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. He explained to his...

What do a bicycle, chicken, and frog have in common?hey all have handlebars! Except for the frog and chicken.

Two guys were driving down the road when they saw a goat with its head stuck in a fence."Hey man pull over here," said one of the guys."I want to go screw this goat."He does, and when he is done he...

A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is gonna meet a young girl.The teller tells him, â€Å?Yes, you are.ââ‚?The frog replies, “Where? In a bar or at a...

A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch to make it longer. She said, “Go into the forest and ask the toad there to marry you, each time it says no, your penis will grow...

What happened to the frog when he parked illegallyHe got toad away.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a...

How do you get a hippopotamus in a mini-van?Kick one of the elephants out.

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler.Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and...

What is a fish's favorite game show?Name that Tuna.

What does a fish use to get high?Seaweed!

Where do you find reindeer?It depends on where you leave them!

There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a...

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,"Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking.s...

1. Cats do what they want, when they want.2. They rarely listen to you.3. They're totally unpredictable.4. They whine when they are not happy.5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.6....

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The...