Q. What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?A. He probably had a bad hare day.

Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet."Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?"Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?A. Got two fives for a ten?

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?A: They both like a little crack now and then.

Warning for video games addicts:Lady Di and her friends proved that playing too much 'columns' can be fatal

Q: What will they call Michael's new TV series?A: Anus and Andy.

Where were Dodi and Di heading the night of the accident?To paint the town red.

What was one of Elton John's jobs at Diana's funeral?To make sure there were enough twinkies there.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?A. Charley Weaver: "Three days of steady drinking should do it."

What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?'These paparazzi are driving me up the wall'

What does Princess Di turn into at midnight?The wall

What was the last thing she kissed?The radiator!

Q. What's brown and half eaten?A. The Queen Mothers Easter egg.

What is Dodi's new pet name for Di?Squidgy

Why did Elton john really go to the funeral?So at least one old queen would be seen to cry in public.

Tell me,â� the teacher asked her students, “do you know what the word ‘can’t’ is short for?â�...

What did Dodi say to Di before they left the Ritz?"Do you want to sleep here or crash in the car?"

What did the French doctors say to Prince Charles when they telephoned him?"Princess Die"

Q: How does Michael Jackson keep his youth?A: Pizza and Nintendo.

Q. What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?A. Get out of my sun!