A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas-pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back...

The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. "When I first got a job as La Salle University's basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was...

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's...

Teacher: Larry, name two pronouns. Larry: Who, Me? Teacher: That answer is correct.

Child: Mom! I got a 100% on my homework! Mom: Really? On what subject? Child: A 40% on science and a 60% on spelling.

Q:What happens when two frogs collide? A: They get tongue tied Q: How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? A: Unhoppy Q: What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub...

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she...

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,...

A baby boy was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing - I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little guy in front...

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity...

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the...

Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. "I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady. "For which kind of...

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word"...

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed...

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and...

A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage...

Yo momma so fat, she has to iron her clothes on the street.

A man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going down the drain. He doesn't know what to do and is seriously contemplating suicide. He goes to the Rabbi to seek his advice....

A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the...