Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the...

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place...

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she...

A man goes into the bar and orders a scotch. He gulps it down and looks in his hand. He orders another one. He gulps it down and orders another one. He again looks in his hand. He orders 2 scotches...

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as...

2 cops are sitting in their car outside of a local bar. They were waiting to see if anyone would drive home drunk. A guy stumbles out obviously drunk out of his mind. He falls down flat on his...

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then...

A guy walks in a bar and it turns out its a private bar. The guy wants to join since its such a nice bar, so he asks the bartender what he has to do. The bartender says there are 3 stages. First...

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in....

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him,...

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first" she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly...

Yo momma's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: "Washington, California..."

A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.'' The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if... your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles you have a...

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it. "That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends....

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" ...

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the...

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Yo mama so short, she did a suicide jump off of the curb.

Once there was a girl who wanted larger breasts. So one day she went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following: "SCOOBIE,DOOBIE,LOOBIE...