Question: Why does Tigger smell?Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

What did the cat say to the mouse?"The human telling this joke is attempting to anthropomorphise us!"

Q: Why does a chicken lay eggs?A: Because if she dropped them, they'd break.

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper...

Two sheep in a field,one says, "Baaaaaaaa!"The other says,"Damn! I was just going to say that!"

Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun.A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.The kitten complained, "Mamma, I'm soooo hungry. What can we eat?"To which the mamma cat, spying...

There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and...

Two little snakes were hissing near their pit.The mother snake came out and said, ''What are you doing hissing near our pit. If you want to hiss go over to Mrs. Pott's pit and hiss. The two little...

What's got two legs and bleeds?Half a dog.

A waitress walks up to a man to take his order."I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup...

If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?The horse's name is Friday!

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks and sits each of them on a stool, he looks up at the bartender and says, “Could you mind my ducks while I go use the phone?â�...

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?This one will sleigh you!

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top...

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to stay for the night. So he sees this barn up the road and asks the guy if he can stay in his barn for the night."Sure," says the farmer, "as long as...

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks...

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!She stormed...

What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson?One's an African lion, and the other's a lion African.