Three bears came out of hibernation and they were stinky so they decided to take a bath.When they get into the bathtub,the last bear says to the first bear,''Can I have the soap?''The first bear...

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. This particular procedure involved grafting a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis.Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very...

What do JFK Jr. and a penguin have in common?They're both cute as hell and can't fly!

A thief in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has learned a valuable lesson: if you're going to steal restaurant equipment, be sure to remove pictures of the original owner's grandchildren before setting...

What is the only animal with an arse half way up its back?A Police Horse.

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas.The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how...

A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he sees...

A man takes his dog to the vet. “My dog is crossed eyed, is there anything you can do for him? “Well,â� says the vet, “let’s...

Would Diana have been buried if she had been married to Dodi?No she would then have been mummy-Fied.

1- One day a Mullah was going to Bazaar to sell his goose. An intelligent and humorous priest saw him and decided to put him on the test. He approached the Mullah and asked: how much is the donkey?...

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the...

This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment."Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back.""I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you...

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire."The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."So the...

Why did God make men a little smarter than dogs?So they won't hump your leg at a cocktail party.

Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher.The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate.She gave him the words 'defeat,' 'deduct,'...

There are two cows in a field.One says to the other, ''So what do you think of mad cow disease?''The other replies, ''I dunno, I'm a chicken.''

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?"Looks like rein dear"

Mary had a little sheepWith this sheepShe went to sleepThe sheep turned out to be a ramAnd Mary had a little lamb.

Why did the Lion lose at Poker?Because he was playing with a Cheetah.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?Two, if they're small enough.