What do you call a poodle with no legs?A spoonge.

There was a man from Leek.Who instead of a nose had a beak.It grew quite absurd, till he looked like a bird.He migrates at the end of next week.

A kid was late for school one day."I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher."Couldn't your father have done that?""Sure, but the bull would have done a...

What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?Rhesus Pieces.

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?Because it was dead.

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her 3 wishes.''I wish I was 21 and beautiful!'' The wish is instantly granted.''I wish I had a million dollars!'' The wish...

How do you shoot a green elephant?Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was.Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue,...

How do you get 1 1/2 pounds of meat out of a fly?You unzip it!

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom,''These sleepovers are killing me!''

What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?Giant holes all over Africa!

A dog walks into a butcher shop, spends a number of minutes looking at the meat on display, and eventually indicates with a nod of his head and a bark that he would like some lamb chops. The...

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't...

What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit."

What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?They both lick their paws.

What's grey and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.

What do you call a cow that won't give milk?A milkdud!

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a...

What time is it when 20 dogs and one cat get together?20 after one.

What's a frog's favourite drink?Croaka-cola.