Why did the frog cross the road?It didn't. It got ran over halfway across.

Yo mama is so poor she steals free bread.

What do you call a Fly with no wings or legs?A roll.

What do you call a fly in a blonde's brain?A space invader!

What does a fish smoke?Sea weed

What did the fish say when he hit a wall?Dam!

"Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun.""What did you do?""What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyes but he slowly...

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle:"Mother said there would be knights like this."

What does an elephant do if it breaks a toe?Gives up ballet dancing.

What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?Anything you want, it can't hear you.

Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?Because white tennis shoes get dirty too easy.

Why does an elephant have four feet?Because in the animal kingdom six inches just doesn't cut it.

How does an elephant hide in the jungle?He paints his balls red and sits in a cherry tree.

How much did the psychiatrist charge to see an elephant?£550 - That's £50 for the visit and £500 for a new sofa.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?Answer: ell-if-i-no (Hell if I know)

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?A: To stamp out forest fires.

George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney were riding on an elephant.A group of bystanders were watching intently.All of a sudden someone in the croud shouted, "Hey look that elephant has two...

How do you compliment a donkey?''Hey, nice ass!''

(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland)Dogs tags ring, are you listening'?In the lane, snow is glistening'.It's yellow, not white -- I've been there tonight,Marking up my winter...