Question: What do you call a dog with no front or back legs?Answer: He's not going to come -- why waste your time?

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?A: About five drinks.

During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R & R.He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England,...

Why did the dog cross the road?He saw some dog food.

Q: Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards?A: So they can park in the (morally/intellectually) handicapped parking.

A man wakes up to find his dog, dead, lying next to the bed on the floor.He doesn't believe his dog is dead, so he takes him to the vet,and the vet says,''I'm sorry, but your dog is dead.'' The man...

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"The owl replies, "I always...

Q: Why is the Dalmatian always found when playing hide and go seek?A: Because his is spotted!

Q. How do crabs leave the hospital?A. On crotches!

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail.The...

Why did the chicken cross the road?To get away from Colonel Saunders.

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House from a trip to Arkansas with a pig under each arm.A secret serviceman greeted him. "Nice pigs, sir!""Thank you. Though these are no ordinary pigs...

How do you stop an elephant from charging?Take away his credit card!

Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?A: A walkie-talkie.

Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?A: To have a cat-scan done.

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.First Bull: Boys, we all know I've been here...

What did the bird say after his cage broke?"Cheap, cheap!"

There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey.One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000.He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five...

What do cows do for fun?They go to MOO-vies!