A business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: HELP WANTED Must be able to type, have computer skills, and be bilingual. We are an Equal...

One afternoon a carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize that he had lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the...

You're a naughty boy. Go to my Room.  

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee....

Check out these types of crossbred dogs... Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries Great Pyrenees...

"My name was David, but that sounded old fashioned. So I shortened it to DVD!"

I Wish These Were Brains

 

CYCLING TIME TRIALS Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the country on his first trip away from...

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are given the oppurtunity to walk only if they convince ten other guys not to do drugs. They both agree and set off. The first male comes back and says...

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To...

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.  The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he...

If you're one of those people who are dragged around by the software companies to buy their upgrades and just getting confused why the hell you should upgrade the already working software, this...

Smart-Ass Answer #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed...

. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo...

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of...