Q. What are: "Do it," "I can help," and "I can't get enough"?A. George Gobel: "I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment."

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing".

Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?A. One was the first to walk on the moon and the other fucks little boys up the ass.

What's the difference between Mother Theresa and Diana?Around 5 days.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Mick Dittman?A: Mick Dittman DOES have a license to ride 4 year olds.

Q: How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?A: They're all standing behind him.

Q: What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words?A: Which one's mommy?

Q. Why does Michael Jackson scream?A. Because it hurts.

Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?A. When the big hand is on the little hand.

Q: What does Michael call an orgy?A: A fruit salad.

Q: What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?A: "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"

What did the paparazzi do with the little bits of Di's body before the pigs arrived?Made a pizza and took pictures of it!

Q: What's black and white and comes in little cans?A: Michael Jackson.

What is the difference between leeches and the paparazzi?Leeches fall off after you die.

Why did Lady Di go and die?She wanted to be the first to try on the Versace Summer 98 Collection.

What do Lady Di and Pink Floyd have in common?Their last greatest hit was the WALL.

Q. What does JFK Jr. miss most about Martha's Vineyard?A. The runway.

Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!

Q: Where does Michael Jackson write his songs for the kids?A: In his tanning salon.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence?A: When the big hand touches the little hand...