Q: How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album?A: He has a lot of stuff in the can.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson Check into the Betty Ford clinic?A: To get over his 11 year crack habit.

Q: Have you seen the new Michael Jackson candy bar?A: It's white chocolate with no nuts.... (but kids like it)

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and the PLO?A: The PLO pulled out of Jordan.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Rum have in common?A: They both come in small tots.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?A: About two dress sizes!!!

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?A: Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?A: A fridge doesn't toot after you take your meat out of it!

Q: What does Michael Jackson give his guests after dinner?A: Instead of after eight mints, he gives them under eight children.

Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?A. Hugh Grant.

Q. How come Mike Tyson’s eye's water during sex?A. Mace

Q: What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire?A: He "Beat-it!"

Did you hear that Di has something in common with George Burns?They both died when they hit a hundred.

What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?Zip-a-de Dodi, Zip-a-de Di

What does Princess Di have in common with the Richmond Football Club?They both got f*cked by walls.

Q. What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life?A. Figuring out which parent is his mother.

What were Dodi's last words?'Faster! Faster!'Hint: The driver misunderstood the expressions of pleasure for orders... hence the accident.

What's Di's favourite song?"I can't drive 55" Sammy Hagar

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep, are you probably a man or a woman?A. Don Knotts: "That's what's been keeping me awake."