I just wanted everyone to know that I have initiated a class action lawsuit against the State of California. I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the LA Times. In...

A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard...

WASHINGTON D.C. - Following an emergency meeting Tuesday morning, Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America. The move was a reaction to the confusion and...

The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."    The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."    The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the...

For three straight years, a young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at the same country inn, several times per year. During his last visit he'd finally managed to seduce the innkeeper's...

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!" MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money you father and I spent on braces, Mona,...

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system...

1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. 2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not...

A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray...

"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9 "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." - Stephanie, age 8 "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." -...

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very...

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. 2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front...

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities. A week later, the...

The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole,...

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of...