Conditions were perfect. 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, "tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she...

AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 23) - Attorneys for filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction...

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy....

** You haven't asked yet. ** I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. ** Because I just love hearing this question. ** Just lucky, I guess. ** It gives my mother something...

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of...

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the...

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a...

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife...

C: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. O: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct? C: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish...

C: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. O: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct? C: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish...

May 30th Just moved to Tucson, Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched...

** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. ** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly...

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home....

** A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. ** No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. ** A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the...

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that will make you look...

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the...

Most people wish to fly on the old gauges at one time or another but are prevented by the high cost of the instruments necessary for this form of flight. The following is a more or less known and...

To prepare for his big date, a young man went to the rooftop of his apartment to work on his tan. Not wanting any tan lines, he sunbathed in the nude but fell asleep and burned his penis. Not...