Q: What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Never land Ranch from drug rehab?A: You know, I feel like a new boy!

Q: Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?A: He's a crack addict.

Would Diana have been buried if she had been married to Dodi?No she would then have been mummy-Fied.

Q: What do Celebrity Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?A: They both play ball in the Minor League.

Q. Have you heard about Michael Jackson's new book?A. It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"

Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers?A: Michael Jackson's hand!

Q: Why was Michael Jackson grounded?A: He was "Bad".

Q. Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?A. So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!

Q: Where's Michael going on holiday?A: He's off to Tampa with the kids.

Q: Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately?A: He has a lot to plug.

I've heard they are changing the name of Mercedes to Mercedes straights, because they don't benz very well.

Why is a Mercedes like a squid? They've both got Di in them when they're opened.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.

Why didnt the airbag on the Merc function properly? It was strapped into a safety belt in the back seat.

Q. Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?A. Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

Did you know that Diana actually was a reincarnation of Janis Joplin? She had asked God thirty years ago to buy her a M... B...!

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?A: His other hand.

Q: Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?A: It comes in a little can.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?A. Neil walked the moon, Michael Jackson... fucked little boys.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.