Bobby's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Bobby to recite a sentence with a direct object.Bobby stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, everybody thinks you are...

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Q. How do you get a hippie to stop rolling joints?A. Cut off his fingers.

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces.When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget...

Observing a light across the water, the captain had his signalman instruct the other vessel to change her course ten degrees south.The response was prompt:Change your course ten degrees north.""I...

Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said,"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do...

Clark Gable and the Pope died on the same day.  Due to a celestial bureaucratic snafu, the Pope was sent to hell.  And Clark Gable went to heaven.The Pope, obviously in the wrong...

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son...