A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."The girl behind the counter says, "I'm very sorry, Sir, but our delivery truck broke down this...

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period."Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I...

At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a 'Charm Course' was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant."Remain seated in the truck...

Officer: "sergeant, do you have change for a dollar?"Sergeant: "sure, buddy."Officer: "that's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again, sergeant, do you have change for a...

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows...

Hopefully, the price of new cars has peaked.Good thing too. I mean most dealers have a showroom and a recovery room as it is.For an auto mechanic, frustration is having a pound of grease on both...

"Stewardess""Yes, Sir?""I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.""Captain,...

Every year, thousands of Americans are introduced to the sport of camping. There are many approaches to it. "Car camping," for example, is where the camp is within 20 feet of the car, and a portion...

A man in Manchester, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to Leeds, and started working south from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking...

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

There was a man who died and went to Heaven.  When he got there, he noticed clocks all over the place, just ticking away.  So he asked St. Peter, "What are all those clocks for?"St....

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog.Concerned the boys might be hurting...

MessageA woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:a half-gallon of 2% milk,a carton of eggs,a quart of orange juice,a head of romaine lettuce,a 2 lb. can of coffee,and a 1 lb....

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding manstanding at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pinkenvelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes...

Teacher: What’s the outside layer of a tree called, Tommy?Tommy: Don’t Know.Teacher: Bark, Tommy.Tommy: Woof, Woof.

Q. What can rabbits have that no other animal can have?A. Baby rabbits.

Waiter : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate,Milo, or Coffee?"Customer: "tea please"Waiter : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea orgreen tea...

During a business trip to China, I was browsing through a department store in Beijing when a staff member timidly approached me."Excuse me," she said. "Are you American?""Yes, I am," I...

"Hi. Now you say something."------------------- "I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me...

One day a man came homefrom work and he was greeted by his wife.She told that she has good news and that she had bad news.He said "Well, give me the good news first."She said "The good news is that...