The businessperson told a nervous client to think of the computer match up service simply as“dater-processingâ�

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?Tech sup: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?Customer: Yeah....Tech sup: And...

You know computers have taken over your life when...You hum the Windows opening theme when ever you wake upYou think the numbers on tombstones are high scoresYou use Google to search for your car...

Computers can never replace humans.They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.

Computers are like air conditioners.They work fine until you start opening windows. 

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truckMEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the...

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed...

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down.The bartender says,"So what'll it be?"The first string says,"I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howeU r89nvyowmc63Dz...

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural...

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.All of a sudden, the car broke down.The Mechanical Engineer...

What do you get when you cross a computer with an ape?A Harry (hairy) reasoner.

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.God addresses Al first."Al, what do you believe in?"Al...

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up...

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... · You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. · Your wife...

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A. None. That's a hardware issue.

A blonde walked into a computer shop one day and asked the shop assistant for a curtain to fit her 15 inch computer monitor.The assistant said,"Why do you want a curtain for your computer...

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?""Eleven", she replies.The sheriff thinks to himself, "Thats not what I...

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by...

We had a tough day at the office yesterday.The computers were all down and everyone had to think!

A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer.'' The user had even tried turning the computer...