Whats the difference between Princess Di, and di?You get di in a bottle. Princess Di comes in a box.

At one ad agency, a guy in production was fired when they discovered he was The Xerox Flasher. Every morning, he Xeroxed his privates, made copies & left them in the  secretarie's desks....

Winters are fierce in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn't wearing the...

A visitor asked a West Texas cowboy, "Do you ever get tornadoes out here?" The cowboy replied, "Yeah, we had one a while back, but it ran into a sandstorm outside of town and got ripped to pieces."...

A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her...

Little Johnny was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the...

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.I turned to...

A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the...

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect.My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a...

There was a spinster schoolteacher who was plain, skinny and with an impediment in her speechShe longed for a man and used to comfort herself by reading respectable erotic stories, namely the...

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned inthe will:"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well asgood, I leave her the house and $2...

Q. Which side of a rabbit has the most fur?A. The outside.

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her...

A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. Little Johnny stopped and looked at...

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleepI tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.The leftovers beckoned-- the dark meat and white,but I fought the temptation with all of...

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.He asked her about it."This is the Klopman diamond,"...

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus,drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a...

During a museum tour, the guide explains, "Here you can see the beautiful statue of Athena...""Excuse me, madam," the old professor interjects. "Who is that man behind her? Is he her husband?""No,...