What are the two things a cat is good for?Altitude and distance!

1. Cats rule. Dogs drool.2. Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're horny.3. Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.4. In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog...

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms."Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw...

Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?A: A walkie-talkie.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?Take away his credit card!

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?A: A giraffe eating cherries.

Why did the chicken cross the road?'Cause he freakin' felt like it!

Q: Why did the chicken say,"Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?"A: He was studying foreign languages.

Where is the world's fastest chicken from?Ethiopia!

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road? Part IIAnswers:George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was...

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?Answers:Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?...

Why did the chicken cross the road?Pat Buchanan answers this question:"To steal a job from a decent , hard-working American." Dr. Seuss answers this question:"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he...

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from ''Feathers,'' the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story:It seems the US Federal...

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?It wanted to lay it on the line.

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road rolls in dirt and comes back?A dirty double crosser

Why did the chicken run onto the football field?Because the umpire called a foul.

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas???You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."

Why don't chickens wear underwear?Because their peckers are on their faces!

An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise.He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm."Hey boy, whatcha got there?""Roll of chicken...

A chinese man walks into a shop with a parrot on his shoulder, and the shopkeeper says, "Blimey, where did you get that?". And the parrot says, "China, there's loads of 'em there".