A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served...

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the heck have you been all night?" she demands....

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who...

An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have...

Bill met Ralph one day after work at the local drinking establishment. "Did you hear that my exclusive golf club fined me $50 for hitting my wife Sally with a 9-iron?" moaned Bill. Ralph...

"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night and when I...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up...

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in...

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place...

This guy walks into a pub with a gremlin sitting on his shoulder. He sits at the bar and orders a pint and a half of lager. The gremlin downs his half-pint, runs long the bar, dips his head in...

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in...

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her. "Hi, Joe", she...

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. The only time you're standing still...

A man was sitting at a bar listening to a pianist playing the most beautiful music he had ever heard, but when he turned to watch the pianist play, he was no where in sight. Puzzled, the man...

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy...

A man was sitting in a bar located on the top of the Empire State Building, when rugged man walked in and said, "bartender, give me a Jack Daniels." The bartender slid him a shot and the rugged man...

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken into his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out However, before...

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to...

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender to recommend a good drink. The bartender says that their grasshoppers are very good, so the man orders one. Then he has another couple. On the way...