A drunk man stumbles into the bar to the only other customer and asks if the man would buy him a drink. The second man says yes. They have a drink, and the first man decides to fill the quiet...

A drunk phones the police. He yells, "Come quick! Thieves have stolen my dashboard, steering wheel, brake and gas pedal, and my dang radio!! MY RADIO!!" The police are just about to...

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy...

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had on the biggest boots she'd ever seen! The woman asked the cowboy, "Is it true what they say about...

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are...

What's the difference between a "fox" and a "dog?" About 6 drinks.

Symptom : Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste ; shirt front is wet. Fault : Mouth not open when drinking or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution : Buy another pint...

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge".

A gent spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he...

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet ...

Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the...

A man walked into the bar and he said, " holy mother fucker where is my nose." Oh it is in my butt hey it is protected

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind...

A bear goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry we dont serve bears here." The bear, upset, says angrily, "Gimme a beer or I'll eat that lady over...

A really really drunk man stumbled out of a local bar and right into the nun. Quickly the man punched the nun right in the face. Stunned the nun tried to run away, but the drunk just ran after her...

Three vampires go into a bar. The bartender asks the first one, "What can I getcha?" The first vampire replies, "I'll have a pint of blood". The bartender then asks...

A man walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a beer. The whole bar is looking at the man curiously as he sits down. The bartender looks at his nice suit and tie and asks him if he's from...

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender, not wanting to serve a mushroom, says "Uh uh, I'm not serving no mushroom." "Aw, come on - I'm a fungi!" the...

3 guys go into a bar. They drink heavily and they lose each other in the bar. Next morning they're all at work discussing what went on after they lost one other. The first guy says, "Man I...

A South African, an Australian and an Englishman are all drinking in a bar. Suddenly, the South African downs the remainder of his drink, tosses his glass in the air, draws his pistol and shoots...