Three strings walk into a bar.The bartender throws them out, yelling"Can't you read the sign?! I don't serve strings."The strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out.Finally, one of...

A drunk walks into a bar, sits down and demands a drink. "Get out" says the bartender."I don't serve drunks here". The drunk staggers out the front door, only to come back in through the side door....

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp."Wow", says the bartender,"Something bad must have happened.""Yeah it did," he...

This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man.The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.“Hey, what's...

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar.The bartender, a tub of cottage cheese, says to them,"We don't serve your kind in here."One of the yogurt cartons says back to him,"Why not? We're cultured...

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam! They hit the wall. The next day in the hospital the first man...

Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools.They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing...

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives."Does your wife ever...well, you know...does she...well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two."Well, not exactly," his...

Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years. One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.Immediately, Jock says "Open it up and we'll have a...

There were two strangers sitting in a bar, one says to the other."Psst, wanna see somethin'?" The other man shrugged and agreed. The first man pointed to an object covered by a cloth. "Look under...

Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender."I'll have a glass of blood," said one."I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other."Okay," replied the bartender, "that'll be one blood...

A man was well inebriated, but he got behind the wheel of his car anyway and began to drive home. Of course, he couldn't exactly drive straight or stay below the speed limit. Two policemen pulled...

A guy walks into a bar and orders three whiskey sours,  drinks them down BAM! BAM! BAM! Then he orders three more. The bartender's having a slow night and apprec- iates the business, but is...

10 reasons why beer should be served at work1. It's an incentive to show up.2. It leads to more honest communications.3. It reduces complaints about low pay.4. Employees tell management what they...

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says"win $10,000; ask bartender for details".He asks and the bartender says"well, you see that man at the end of the bar?"The drunk looks over and...

Two men who are out walking their dogs meet on a streetcorner. One says to the other, "Boy it sure is hot today. I'd really like to go into the bar and get a beer, but the sign on the front...

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "do you have any grapes ?" the bartender gets the grapes starts to hand them to the duck... the duck said "put them on my bill" .

A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"...

A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the...

A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please." The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you." "Why not?" askes the brain. "You're already out of your head."